From Home :)

I am home :) My little guy is just next door in his room watching a movie with his Nanny .. I am not sure that I can put into words the way I am feeling .. But for the sake my blog I will try .. Let me start by saying how thankful I am that my little boy is alive .. How blessed are we as a family that Our God was watching over Zach a week ago today and gave him the gift of breath for another day .. He could have taken him .. In a heartbeat my son could have been dead but My God has a plan for my and mine and that plan includes Zach ... Praise God .. We arrived at our house around 6:30pm on Friday .. A porch full of Zach's buddies were waiting for us .. Anxiously waiting to see their friend that just a few days earlier that had seen carried away on a stretcher by an ambulance .. What the poor little guys must have stuck in their minds still haunts me .. They were there .. They saw their friend get hit so hard that it knocked him out of shoes and then get run over by an ATV going approximately 30-40 miles an hour .. Can you imagine seeing that ?? and the fear those boys must have experienced that day ?? I owe my little man's life to the kid who knew to call 911 .. to the kid who stayed by his side until the ambulance arrived .. who called my husband to say "Come Quick" .. What brave and awesome little boys my son has as friends .. These boys come and sit in his room with him to visit and keep him company .. They are not out riding bikes or playing with other friends .. They are sitting by the side of their buddy that can't go outside right now .. Zach is in good spirits .. He gets frustrated but he keeps a smile on his face and his awesome personality has really shined through this week ..I am not sure what I feel .. I am numb .. Sad and Mad .. Two feelings that will not make anything better but that I cannot shake .. along with exhausted .. I have to bathe my son .. I have to help him to the bathroom .. No 12 yr old boy wants his mom in the bathroom with him but we are forced to make the best out of this situation and push forward .. I am happy to be home from the hospital but terrified .. I am terrified that he will need something that I cannot provide .. That he will require care that I am not qualified to give .. I am a mom .. Not a nurse or a doctor .. I love this kid more than any nurse or doctor ever could but that does not qualify me to  be a health care professional .. Sam and I do the best we can to keep him happy and comfortable .. There have been so many amazing people praying for us and offering help .. I don't think that I will ever ever ever be able to Thank so many people properly .. I have never sent out a Thank You card in my life but I think now would be the perfect time to start .. My family and friends have been such a blessing .. I know and understand that God has a plan for us all .. and that from every trial comes a lesson of some kind .. I also know that nothing ever happens by our clock or calendar but by His .. I expect to understand later why this happened to my son .. I pray for peace and understanding so that I will do not let anger and confusion run my life .. My son is alive and I have to focus on that one positive point every minute of the day .. I have to remember that nothing is in my control .. I pray that these little boys have learned a lesson about being a little more careful .. I hope that my friends hug their babies a little tighter next time the are going to be away from them .. In a matter of moments all that we know and have can change .. Today I am thankful for Zach's laugh .. for his positive attitude even starting down a long hard road .. I am thankful for the best husband .. mom and friends that a girl could ever need .. The next few weeks will be rough .. I may want to cuss .. cry or scream .. I will get frustrated and tired ... I may feel like this mess will never be over .. but .. This too shall pass and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that My God will never place a burden on my shoulders that I cannot bear .. I know this .. I have faith in this and I rest in the peace that only my God can provide for me .. I am going to load up my boy's walker and take him to the school tomorrow to see about getting him back on track .. I don't know when he return to school full time or when he will be capable of doing things for himself again but I do know that he has an amazing spirit that will not keep him down for long ..