"The Man"

So yesterday as I was driving home with Zach in the back seat we began to chat about random things as we normally do when we are out and about in the car .. We had decided to have a mall corn dog for lunch and were headed in the direction of the mall when he mentioned that the night before his friend Elijah had reminded him of something that had happened on the day of his accident .. His accident was October 3rd .. I will never forget that day .. Around 6 weeks ago and apparently his buddy had jogged his memory about something that had happened that day .. Let me start by saying that my son was in a field with 3 other boys that day .. 2 were on 4 wheelers .. He and another boy were goofing around apparently in the path of racing 4 wheelers !! When he was hit the boy who hit him left the accident to take him 4 wheeler home ( Do not get me started on my opinion of this little boy or the actions or lack of ... I should say .. taken by his parents since the accident which left my child temporarily handicapped ) and the other 2 boys ran home to get help .. As I mother I was horrified by the thought that my son laid in a field hurt and bleeding all alone .. I have blamed myself for not being there with him .. There was no way that I could have known that my child was not where he had said he would be but the guilt since that day has been overwhelming .. It seems though that someone was looking out for my boy for me that day .. Back to our conversation in the car .. He begins to tell me that when he was in the field .. on the ground .. alone .. That man came to sit with him .. He said "Mom .. I wish I knew who he was so I could tell him Thank You .. But he was gone as quick as he came" .. My heart swelled .. My baby was not alone .. A stranger came to sit by his side and comfort him until help came .. Jesus was watching over my little man that day .. I completely believe that My God sent an Angel to be with my son that day .. When I later mentioned this to Zach he just chuckled .. but I know he feels the same way .. In all of the bad that happened that day .. Our God was in control .. What a blessing to know that even in the middle of what seems like a terrible situation He is still there with us .. I don't know that we will ever know that man's name but when we say our prayers tonight we all know who we will thank for "That man" ..

Ready for Normal

So .. I was thinking today that my last few blog entries have not been very funny .. I guess my life over the last few weeks hasn't been very funny .. I seem to be walking around in a daze .. I feel like I lost my sense of humor somewhere and don't know where to look for it and I'm not even sure if I have the energy anyway .. I'm beat .. My son is healthy and safe but I am beat .. My mom made a comment during one of her weekend visits that she didn't think that she would ever be the same after Zach's accident .. That makes me sad .. but in a way I kinda feel the same .. Everyday those horrible memories run in and out of the back of my mind .. I don't think I am ever going to be the same either .. I think I will always hold on to my boys a second longer than I used to when they hug and kiss me goodbye or goodnight .. I think that I will be less annoyed by the millions of little annoying things that they do .. The day before Zach's accident I completed a course that deemed me to be a "Certified Life Coach" .. HA!! .. The very next day my entire life collapsed in all around me .. Any plans for my I had for my future were immediately brushed aside and sitting here typing this now I can honestly say I don't even remember what they were .. That makes me feel a little sad because I need to know what those plans were .. I need to move forward and be the woman that I was working on being before this happened ..  I feel a little sad today because my son wants to go to school tomorrow morning and he can't .. He can't because he has a broken leg that has left him disabled for at least another 8 weeks .. My son won't be able to show his stuff on the Ramsey football field tomorrow night because in a moment of "playing around" he was run over by a damn 4 wheeler .. In a split second everything changed .. I want to be grateful and on most days I am .. but when I'm tired and the day has been long .. When I'm alone with myself to think .. I'm pissed .. I'm pissed because somewhere .. someone .. thinks it's okay to "gossip" about at 12 year old getting run over .. I am furious because the little boy that ran over him gets to get up tomorrow and go to school .. he will come home and get to play outside with his friends .. and my son will spend another day at the house .. mad and frustrated because bones don't heal overnight .. being mad will not make anything better in fact it will  most likely make us both feel worse but today .. I am pissed!! Ugh .. What a miserable way to feel .. I hope everyday will be better than the last and usually it is .. My son is so healthy and doing so well .. He is a little walking miracle .. I am never going to be the mom I was before his accident because I am working every single day to be a better mom .. I guess I should apologize to anyone who has noticed that I'm not the same .. I'm more quiet .. reserved .. forgetful and clumsy .. I am never really focused on what I am doing or saying because in the back of my mind I am worrying and thinking about my baby boy .. I am sorry to my husband .. my mother .. my bosses and co-workers .. my awesome friends and family and even my lil angels Zach and Josh .. I am distracted .. I am trying in my own way to sort things out and get back on track .. I am working on myself everyday .. silently working on myself everyday .. Please forgive me for being so selfish right now .. I am sorry for not being the person I promised you that I would be .. I am ready for "normal" .. And I know everyone else is too ..

Award :)

And the award goes to...

 Thank you to Kerri at Confessions of a Shoeaholic for giving me this award! 

You are supposed to give 7 random things about yourself & then hand them off.

1. I am totally and completely grossed out by the sound of people chewing!! I absolutely cannot stand it and get really grossed out .. Usually to the point where I have to move away from people when I am eating.

2. I suffer from severe Road Rage !!! Any swear words that my kids know they have probably learned from the passenger seat of my car .. Oops !!


3. I have to shave my legs every single day .. If I skip a day it drives me crazy until I can get them shaved .. I don't understand how girls can go for days .. even weeks without shaving ?!!?


4. I keep a water bowl for my dogs on my night stand so that if they get thirsty in the night they can get a drink .. Is that weird ??


5. I do not allow my husband to control more than one technology at a time in our house .. Like for instance .. He cannot be on the ESPN website on the Mac and be watching ESPN on the television at the same time .. That's not fair and I make him choose one or the other .. I don't think that's unfair .. I mean really how much ESPN can one person consume in one day ??

6. I often daydream about how I will spend my lottery winnings .. but I never buy lottery tickets :) 

7. This is not random but seems appropriate in regards to the latest happenings with my son .. I absolutely .. beyond a shadow of a doubt .. cherish and adore my family !! I thank God (a little more now) every single day for letting me be a part of this amazing little group of people :)

So....now to hand off:  Eeekkk :(  I don't have anyone to hand this award off to but I hope you all enjoyed a peek into my crazy world !!

From Home :)

I am home :) My little guy is just next door in his room watching a movie with his Nanny .. I am not sure that I can put into words the way I am feeling .. But for the sake my blog I will try .. Let me start by saying how thankful I am that my little boy is alive .. How blessed are we as a family that Our God was watching over Zach a week ago today and gave him the gift of breath for another day .. He could have taken him .. In a heartbeat my son could have been dead but My God has a plan for my and mine and that plan includes Zach ... Praise God .. We arrived at our house around 6:30pm on Friday .. A porch full of Zach's buddies were waiting for us .. Anxiously waiting to see their friend that just a few days earlier that had seen carried away on a stretcher by an ambulance .. What the poor little guys must have stuck in their minds still haunts me .. They were there .. They saw their friend get hit so hard that it knocked him out of shoes and then get run over by an ATV going approximately 30-40 miles an hour .. Can you imagine seeing that ?? and the fear those boys must have experienced that day ?? I owe my little man's life to the kid who knew to call 911 .. to the kid who stayed by his side until the ambulance arrived .. who called my husband to say "Come Quick" .. What brave and awesome little boys my son has as friends .. These boys come and sit in his room with him to visit and keep him company .. They are not out riding bikes or playing with other friends .. They are sitting by the side of their buddy that can't go outside right now .. Zach is in good spirits .. He gets frustrated but he keeps a smile on his face and his awesome personality has really shined through this week ..I am not sure what I feel .. I am numb .. Sad and Mad .. Two feelings that will not make anything better but that I cannot shake .. along with exhausted .. I have to bathe my son .. I have to help him to the bathroom .. No 12 yr old boy wants his mom in the bathroom with him but we are forced to make the best out of this situation and push forward .. I am happy to be home from the hospital but terrified .. I am terrified that he will need something that I cannot provide .. That he will require care that I am not qualified to give .. I am a mom .. Not a nurse or a doctor .. I love this kid more than any nurse or doctor ever could but that does not qualify me to  be a health care professional .. Sam and I do the best we can to keep him happy and comfortable .. There have been so many amazing people praying for us and offering help .. I don't think that I will ever ever ever be able to Thank so many people properly .. I have never sent out a Thank You card in my life but I think now would be the perfect time to start .. My family and friends have been such a blessing .. I know and understand that God has a plan for us all .. and that from every trial comes a lesson of some kind .. I also know that nothing ever happens by our clock or calendar but by His .. I expect to understand later why this happened to my son .. I pray for peace and understanding so that I will do not let anger and confusion run my life .. My son is alive and I have to focus on that one positive point every minute of the day .. I have to remember that nothing is in my control .. I pray that these little boys have learned a lesson about being a little more careful .. I hope that my friends hug their babies a little tighter next time the are going to be away from them .. In a matter of moments all that we know and have can change .. Today I am thankful for Zach's laugh .. for his positive attitude even starting down a long hard road .. I am thankful for the best husband .. mom and friends that a girl could ever need .. The next few weeks will be rough .. I may want to cuss .. cry or scream .. I will get frustrated and tired ... I may feel like this mess will never be over .. but .. This too shall pass and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that My God will never place a burden on my shoulders that I cannot bear .. I know this .. I have faith in this and I rest in the peace that only my God can provide for me .. I am going to load up my boy's walker and take him to the school tomorrow to see about getting him back on track .. I don't know when he return to school full time or when he will be capable of doing things for himself again but I do know that he has an amazing spirit that will not keep him down for long ..

From ACH

What a crazy ride the last 5 days have been .. I saw my son laying on the ground having been run over by an ATV .. I have been in the St Eds emergency room .. the St Eds pediatric floor .. the St Eds ICU .. the back of an ambulance for a 2.5 hour drive to Arkansas Children's Hospital .. the ACH Intermediate floor and now we are finally settled into Room 3E12 .. a normal patient room in an Unbelievably Amazing Hospital .. Its been a rough week .. I think that may be putting it mildly but take it from me I've learned a few things about myself .. I've learned how long I can go without sleep and food before I start to break down .. I've learned that as much as I loved my husband before I never knew until now what an amazing dad he is to my boys .. I've seen the overflow of family and friends offering anything that they had to offer and realizing how blessed I am to have such amazing people in my life .. We had a scare Monday night .. Zach started complaining of abdominal pain and we found out that there was no scan of his belly done in the ER the night he was admitted .. When we insisted on a scan we found out that he had a bruised kidney and a lacerated spleen .. These organs, I've learned, can heal themselves but if something goes wrong they must come out .. It would be an emergency situation and after the ER "mishap" Sam and I decided that the hospital that we were in was not prepared well enough for an emergency concerning our boy .. After a long night in ICU we made the decision to have Zach transferred to Arkansas Children's Hospital .. He was transported by ambulance with me by his side .. Within 30 minutes of being here I knew that I had made the right decision .. We immediately saw a doctor .. Several of them actually .. We were inundated with nurses .. doctors and people who wanted to check this kid out .. It was a breath of fresh air into an overwhelming sad ordeal .. I rested .. For the first time since the accident .. I could rest .. I knew that my boy was in the best hands in the state and that I could finally rest .. I ate .. an entire meal .. by myself in the cafeteria .. but it was nice to feel a little normal again .. Only a mom who has sat by a hospital bed understands .. but any mom can relate .. This guy that everyone has poked and prodded for 5 days now .. is my baby boy .. he is my shining star .. he is the love of my life .. Finally .. after arriving at ACH I felt that someone else understood that and wanted nothing but to see my baby well again .. just as I did .. I will never ever be able to put into words all of my thoughts and feelings about what happened and what we have been through but I can honestly say that ACH is an answered prayer .. God knows that us moms need somewhere to rest and eat when our babies are sick .. so he gave us ACH .. Thank you Lord for this Blessing .. I logged out of here before I posted it because I thought I might have something else to say later .. I do :)  I heard my little guy laugh today .. It's been a a few days since I heard that .. I have felt a small lump in my throat all day long .. I am rested and fed and thinking .. Not sure if that's a good thing or not .. I can appreciate that laugh a little better today  .. With a clear mind I know that I almost lost that little laugh .. And with a clear mind I know that if I feel like crying that it is out relief and not fear .. I am ready to take my guys home and get back to our normal life .. I am ready to spend the rest of my days laughing with my kids .. My safe and healthy kids :)

From the Hospital

I am certain all that read this already know what happened to my son Zachary yesterday and for those that don't .. Well .. He was ran over by a 4wheeler .. I am not even sure if there is a different way to say it that makes it sound less horrible .. I am sitting next to my baby boy's hospital bed listening to the sound of his morphine induced snoring .. It's a wonderful sound for a mother who only 12 hours ago received a call from a sobbing little boy who could only tell us to come quick that Zach was hurt real bad .. For every parent who has made that drive you know that fear .. That fear of the unknown .. That feeling in your stomach .. That feeling like time is crawling and you cannot get there fast enough .. And to arrive on the scene of an ambulance .. Praying that the little boy on the ground is not yours .. And the horrifying realization that it is .. in fact .. your baby laying there .. covered in blood and crying out for you .. In that moment .. The most raw and tender parts of your heart break .. As I stood helpless over my little boy .. Only God knows what a mother needs in those moments .. Only my God was in control .. Don't get me wrong .. I sobbed .. and sobbed .. I arrived at the hospital in the passenger seat of the ambulance .. A broken women and in shock .. The phone calls and text messages started to go out and the family started to pile in .. At one point tonight my son had 4 grandmothers here .. That's a lot of promises of ice cream when he gets better .. My mother in law immediately went to his side to lay hands on him and pray .. I sat in the corner and wept .. The prayers started to go up .. The scans and x rays brought reports of more good than bad news .. God was listening to all of us last night .. They took Zachary to surgery to repair a broken femur bone at 10:00pm last night .. My son was run over by a 4wheeler and only has a broken leg .. I say only because I know that his injuries could be so much worse .. He could be dead .. God was listening to all of us last night .. He wakes up and asks for a drink and get more pain medicine .. He tells the nurses thank you and that he is sorry for being bossy .. My awesome kid is laying in a hospital bed apologizing .. Thank you friends for praying for my baby .. Thank you God for answering our prayers last night .. Thank you Zach for being such an awesome kid .. Thank you Sam for sleeping on a hospital cot and loving this little boy as much as I do .. Thank you Mom .. Kim .. Grandma Judy .. Mary .. Bob .. Debbie .. Mamaw .. Bobbie .. Barbara for being here and sitting and waiting with us .. Thank you Barbie for being Awesome .. Thank you to every single awesome friend that text .. facebooked .. tweeted .. praying and asking for prayers for my little man .. Thank you Jill for praying with me ... Thank you Stacy for being at work and taking care of things for me .. Thank you God for listening and answering our prayers last night .. Zach is going to be okay .. He will start with a little physical therapy in the morning and go from there .. I plan to keep all updated via blog, facebook and text message .. It's now 6:05am and I have yet to close my eyes .. Last time Zach woke up he thanked Sam and I for staying with him at the hospital and told me to lay down and get some rest .. This child is truly an angel with a heart of gold .. In all of his pain and weakness he is worried about us .. Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to be the mother of one of the most amazing kids I have ever met .. I think I will try to close my eyes for a minute before he wakes up again .. Blessings .. Kristal

Bad Doctor .. Good Deed

So today was a typical day for me .. I arrived at work on time (okay so that's not typical) and took my post out back with the Ultimutts .. Around 9:00am the nagging of a stomach ache set itself up in my stomach .. As an old lady stuck in a young lady's body and a medical chart at the doctor's office a mile high I knew it was time for a little doctor prescribed medicine if I was going to make it all day outside with the dogs .. After a trip to my purse and a visit with my Boss I was back outside enjoying the pups in the semi decent morning weather .. Long story short .. The medicine didn't work .. The pain in my stomach was getting worse and nothing seemed to be helping .. I chose to call Mr GI Dr .. Now some may find it odd that I have my GI Dr on speed dial but when you have pain like this you don't mess around with phone book nonsense .. I'm sick .. I have health issues .. Anyone who knows me well knows this .. I have a bad back .. migraine headaches .. "stomach issues" .. Mostly from drinking way too much .. smoking too many cigarettes .. crashing too many cars .. and never stopping to think about the consequences for one damn minute until it was way too late .. I partied like a rock start for a good ten years .. give or take .. It's not a bad thing .. It's just starting to take it's toll on my old lady bones.. So moving on .. I left my message with the uninterested receptionist who answered the phone with a promise that it would be passed onto Mr GI Dr's uninterested nurse .. Let me just interject here and say that I have worked in a medical office .. In most cases the people who answer the phones could really care less what you are telling them on the other end of the phone line .. The operators, receptionists, snooty office managers, and sometimes even the nurses Do Not Care .. It's really sad but it's not there fault .. They are overworked and underpaid and really need to move onto more fulfilling careers but don't because they think they have a "Good" job .. But moving on .. Let's just say that is was a damn good thing that whatever was causing the pain today was not life threatening because it took the uninterested nurse 3 hours to call me back .. She took the information that I had already given to the Receptionist full of Sunshine 3 hours earlier and replied that she would need to discuss with Doc what to do .. Nice !! More waiting .. Awesome !! So .. Really at this point I had worked most of the day in some pretty severe pain and I knew that it was time for me to head home and to the sanctity of my bed .. The pain was not getting better and I was still waiting for some much needed advice from the damn dr .. I kid you not .. At 5:01pm my phone rang .. Uninterested Nurse informed me that there was nothing that Mr GI Dr could do for me ( even though I am His patient for these types of problems ) and that I would need to contact my PCP ( who had referred me to Mr GI Dr several months ago for these types of problems ) or go to the ER for immediate care .. Have I f-ing said Awesome yet !! It's not only what I was thinking but exactly what I said to Uninterested Nurse as I was plotting in my brain how to find out where she lived .. It was a bad day .. Bad days happen .. This evening my stomach is feeling slightly better but you can bet your ass that 8:00am tomorrow morning I will be on the phone with the office of my PCP to find a new Mr.GI Dr to add to my speed dial list .. I should have something accomplished my 5:00pm on Friday .. Now for the Good Deed .. This was the bright spot in my day .. I rarely do stuff like this and when I do I typically don't tell anyone but I want to be an encouragement because this is something I have recently began to feel very strongly about .. I have 2 dear friends .. Rick and Lindsey Mott .. They Serve our Country in the Air National Guard @ the 188th here in Fort Smith .. I am Proud as hell to say that they are my friends .. I have heard in the past of strangers walking up to our Service Men and Women at all times and places to shake their hands and to Thank them for their Service to our Country .. I've never done this .. When I was in the Denver, CO airport in July I witnessed a woman run across the airport to shake the hand of a female soldier as she was making her way through the busy airport .. The sight stopped me in my tracks .. Emotion ran through my body and for a moment I thought I would cry .. The women went on but it stuck in my mind .. I still think about that a lot .. Not to long ago I was eating lunch with Linds .. She was in her uniform and there were several other 188th employess in the same restaurant as us .. A girl in uniform walked up to Linds and handed her a wad of cash .. A man outside of the restaurant had given her the money and told her to be sure to pay for the lunches of all of the Service men and women in the restaurant .. It reminded me of Denver and told Linds about it .. She said it happens often .. I was in awe !! Here were these average people going out of there way to Thank our Country's Finest in the simplest of ways .. I knew that I had to do it .. I didn't know how or when the Lord would make the opportunity for me but I knew I had to Thank someone for doing what they do so that I can do what I do in safety and peace .. Today was the day guys .. I chose Subway for lunch .. My stomach was hurting and I figured a ham sandwich would do the least amount of damage .. When I walked in I saw a man and a woman sitting at a table in the restaurant .. They had uniforms on .. It didn't dawn on me at first but it didn't take long for me to remember the deal I made with myself .. As I passed through the line I racked my brain for what to say or do .. I was really nervous and a little scared .. But I was determined to bless these two people somehow before I left Subway .. As I was checking out I told the Uninterested Subway counter girl to give me 3 cookies .. Didn't matter what kind because they weren't for me .. I walked to the drink fountain .. got my iced tea and turned to exit .. With tears in my eyes and a Huge lump in my throat I walked straight up to them .. I laid the cookies down and said "Thank you for all that you do for me and this country and Have a Blessed Day" .. I walked out the door and to my car .. Tears were rolling down my cheeks before I made it to the Lancer .. I didn't know them but the bigger matter was that they didn't know me yet the sacrifice they make for me and my family is so great .. I hope the cookies made them smile .. I hope God continues to Bless our Service People .. I hope .. No I pray that one day all the fighting will end and we can live in peace .. I hope that my friend Linds know what a difference that she has made  in my life .. My mother and grandfather proudly served in the United States Air Force .. I hope that when they were out grabbing lunch that someone took the time to shake their hand and tell them "Thank you for all that you do "  ..  And I think that they would be proud of me because I did the same ..

So I may be a bit obsessed ..

I wrote my "About Me" info last night .. You know .. The I love my hubby and kids thing but I left out a small detail about myself .. Actually it's quite big .. I LOVE Dogs !! And when I say I LOVE dogs it may be more than the average person loves dogs .. For starters I have 4 .. That's right .. 1 2 3 4 Pups .. Living in my house and Sleeping in my bed ( when their daddy lets them ) .. And I work at a Doggie Daycare .. Which means not only do I get to take my precious angels to work with me everyday but my job is to take care of other people's dogs .. I don't do kids .. They cry too much and can sometimes be downright obnoxious and don't get me started on the germs .. I am not a big fan of the general public either mainly because I can't handle stupidity or rudeness and Joe Public on the whole is stupid and rude most of the time .. So I do Dogs !! I got my first dog when I was 25 so I didn't even learn of the obsession until late in life .. I think that is what makes it so awesome .. Because I can appreciate it more .. My oldest and closest to my heart because he was my first dog is Manny .. Manny is a Pug who will be 5 in January .. He is your average lazy pug who snores, burps and yes .. farts .. It doesn't bother me .. We all do it .. Why should he be any different .. Second in line is Max .. He will be 4 in October and what I like to call our "Petfinder Special" .. Max belongs to my husband who will defend until his dying day that Max is by far more superior to our other dogs .. I don't think he even knows his own name sometimes .. But moving on .. Third in line is by far the best gift I have ever received .. A little darling black female pug that my hubby surprised me with over a year ago .. It was about the time we had bought our house and I had been making noise about being the only girl in the house .. So along came Mollie .. She is a Momma's Girl and doesn't leave my side .. I adore her and because of that she may be a little spoiled .. Last but certainly not least is our newest household addition .. A little yorkie named Hayden .. He had lived with my mom for a few years but really needed a place where he could be more social and have more outside time .. That landed him here and he has officially earned a spot in the Grounds Pack .. This may sound crazy to you .. but I honestly cannot imagine a day without my dogs .. Or a job where I had to do anything that didn't require me to take care of dogs .. They love me and I love them .. They can sense it .. Therefore we all get along .. My job is incredible and with any job I have to deal with a little (sometimes alot) of "crap" but someone has to do it and if that's the sacrifice I must make to hang out with my furry friends then Bring it On .. If you have told me ten years ago that this would be my life I'd have laughed in your face .. This is never a path that I imagined for myself but God has a plan for us all and Folks .. I am not sure why .. but this is mine .. And I LOVE it !!!