2010 Year in Review

So as it turns out I am really bad at this blogging thing .. I come up with all of these wonderful ideas of things to write about but never actually make or take the time with the laptop to get it done .. I figure that a year in review on January 3rd may be a little late but .. better late than never .. To remember my year I have searched all the way back on my facebook page to jog my memories on the good the bad and the ugly .. So here goes .. Last year on this exact day this is what I posted on my Facebook page .. "Six years ago today I met a boy in a bar that would change my life forever! He made My life sweeter, My love deeper and Puppies Cuter (LoL). I love him more today than I ever thought I could love another soul. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world. I love you sooo much Sam .. Happy Anniversary Baby .. 143" .. Today makes 7 years and I have to admit that I still feel the same .. I by far have the man that God created just for me .. 143 (which by the way .. for the confused .. 143 means I love you .. We have text and typed it to each other forever .. It's just our thing) I continue through the list of familiar status posts I am reminded that at the beginning of this year I was still working at a job that I absolutely hated and of course had signed up for yet another semester of college .. which is something else that I absolutely hate also .. So I guess this year started out on a bit of a strain but fortunately the Lord took control and on 1/27/2010 I was terminated from that hateful job .. I cried for 2 or 3 days .. It was rough .. No one likes being rejected especially when you feel like you were rejected for no damn good reason .. I waded through it though .. I stuck by the idea that God has a bigger plan for me than I could ever imagine and that as long as he was running the show that I would trust him .. As I read on through I remember that we did some minor updating to our home in the Spring .. We added our laminate flooring and did more painting .. I remember being stressed over the house bring "under construction" for a few days and I learned that Rick and Sam are really hard workers .. Such began Sam's search for "projects" around the house .. I never knew how much my hubby loved to "tinker around the house" until that first big project .. Now he is constantly looking for something to improve .. Which isn't bad but sometimes I just need the trash and recycling taken out .. Not every leaf in the yard raked and bagged up .. 143 ;)  So according to Facebook on March 5 I landed what I would consider and at the time referred to it as my "Dream JoB" .. I went to work at Ultimutt Dog Care as their first official employee .. Little did I know that a mere year later that I would consider these two girls Brook Lang & Mary Young, who took a chance on me to help them take care of what seems like a hundred dogs sometimes, to be like family  .. We have all worked our asses off to watch this business grow and have enjoyed (almost) every single minute of it .. Some people look all of their lives for their calling .. I found mine at 31 .. It's dogs .. All the way .. I'm pretty sure it was somewhere around this time that I permanently gave up on college and called it quits on my semester ..  In March my best friends husband, Rick, left for Afghanistan for 2 months .. I had a first hand and up close and personal view of how heart wrenching that situation can be for a couple .. It broke my heart to see Linds so sad without her husband here and gave me a whole new respect for those who serve in our country's military and the families they have to leave behind to do so .. On March 31 I took on my second job .. Selling Scentsy !! I have never done anything in the direct sales market but there was just something about the stuff that drew me in .. It has become a great past time for me as well as an easy second pay check every month .. I have made so many new friends that I would have never even met if it weren't for Scentsy .. Being a Scentsy Girl even gave me the opportunity to go to Denver, CO in July for the 2010 Scentsy Convention .. There were over 6,000 Scentsy Chics there !! I met people and made friendships that will last a lifetime .. As I was running around working 2 jobs that I love my boys were growing up .. My youngest son Josh turned 9 and informed me that next year he would be in the "double digits" .. and my oldest moved into Junior High .. It was really hard for me .. More than I thought it would be .. It's hard to watch your kids grow up and become less dependent on you .. Little did I know then how that would change .. In the fall I moved further into my 30s .. We won't discuss which 30 I am at .. LoL !! The boys settled in for school and work stayed the same .. On October 3 .. Tragedy struck our family .. Zach was run over by a 4 wheeler .. Literally run over .. As I sit here and type the words I can remember but it seems so long ago already .. We were in the hospital for a week .. He suffered a broken femur, lacerated spleen, damage to his kidney, a cracked rib and a terrible memory that will be stuck in the back of his mind forever .. You would never know by looking at my son today that he was ever injured so badly .. He has a slight limp and is (usually) always smiling .. I attribute my son's miraculous and speedy recovery to answered prayers .. I know that Sam and I's relationship with God has become a lot closer since the accident .. We realize his power and ability to take away and are blessed everyday by the fact that he allowed us more time with our boy .. Our family is tight .. I have an amazing relationship with my mom .. And as she prepares to move back to Fort Smith in just a few weeks I am thankful for a family that I can depend on ... As I look back over the year I see friendships that have grown .. A former sister in law who became a sister to me again .. Friends who became Best Friends .. A husband and kids that I cannot imagine one single day without ..We also acquired a new dog this year .. Little Hayden moved from my mom's house to ours and has settled in quite nicely as the newest member of the Ground's pack .. Little Luci turned One and we are expecting a little Mott baby sometime in February .. My year has been filled with highs and lows .. I have always attributed age with wisdom and I feel very wise as I write this today .. My marriage is strong .. My kids are healthy and I love the ones I spend my time with .. Could it really be any better ?? So I'd say that my 2010 was an Interesting year full of Good .. Bad and .. The Unexpected Blessings !! Praise be to God for all of my Unexpected Blessings!! As a simple side note .. I graduated from Life Coach training the day before Zach's accident .. Everything I learned was blinded from me for a few weeks until I had a few moments to myself to take stock of what had happened .. I am thankful for God's little tests but this was a big one .. He provided me with so much education on how to serve him better and then .. one day later .. threw a rock into the spokes of my life bicycle .. I work everyday at trying  to get back on course and to the place where He wants me to be .. We go to church and seek His will for our lives and pray our humble prayers of gratitude .. God has a plan for me and my family and you and yours too .. If we can just simply remember that we are not in control and just try to enjoy the ride our smiles may be a little easier to come by .. Thanks for reading my 2010 story and I look forward to adding more in 2011 !!

"The Man"

So yesterday as I was driving home with Zach in the back seat we began to chat about random things as we normally do when we are out and about in the car .. We had decided to have a mall corn dog for lunch and were headed in the direction of the mall when he mentioned that the night before his friend Elijah had reminded him of something that had happened on the day of his accident .. His accident was October 3rd .. I will never forget that day .. Around 6 weeks ago and apparently his buddy had jogged his memory about something that had happened that day .. Let me start by saying that my son was in a field with 3 other boys that day .. 2 were on 4 wheelers .. He and another boy were goofing around apparently in the path of racing 4 wheelers !! When he was hit the boy who hit him left the accident to take him 4 wheeler home ( Do not get me started on my opinion of this little boy or the actions or lack of ... I should say .. taken by his parents since the accident which left my child temporarily handicapped ) and the other 2 boys ran home to get help .. As I mother I was horrified by the thought that my son laid in a field hurt and bleeding all alone .. I have blamed myself for not being there with him .. There was no way that I could have known that my child was not where he had said he would be but the guilt since that day has been overwhelming .. It seems though that someone was looking out for my boy for me that day .. Back to our conversation in the car .. He begins to tell me that when he was in the field .. on the ground .. alone .. That man came to sit with him .. He said "Mom .. I wish I knew who he was so I could tell him Thank You .. But he was gone as quick as he came" .. My heart swelled .. My baby was not alone .. A stranger came to sit by his side and comfort him until help came .. Jesus was watching over my little man that day .. I completely believe that My God sent an Angel to be with my son that day .. When I later mentioned this to Zach he just chuckled .. but I know he feels the same way .. In all of the bad that happened that day .. Our God was in control .. What a blessing to know that even in the middle of what seems like a terrible situation He is still there with us .. I don't know that we will ever know that man's name but when we say our prayers tonight we all know who we will thank for "That man" ..

Ready for Normal

So .. I was thinking today that my last few blog entries have not been very funny .. I guess my life over the last few weeks hasn't been very funny .. I seem to be walking around in a daze .. I feel like I lost my sense of humor somewhere and don't know where to look for it and I'm not even sure if I have the energy anyway .. I'm beat .. My son is healthy and safe but I am beat .. My mom made a comment during one of her weekend visits that she didn't think that she would ever be the same after Zach's accident .. That makes me sad .. but in a way I kinda feel the same .. Everyday those horrible memories run in and out of the back of my mind .. I don't think I am ever going to be the same either .. I think I will always hold on to my boys a second longer than I used to when they hug and kiss me goodbye or goodnight .. I think that I will be less annoyed by the millions of little annoying things that they do .. The day before Zach's accident I completed a course that deemed me to be a "Certified Life Coach" .. HA!! .. The very next day my entire life collapsed in all around me .. Any plans for my I had for my future were immediately brushed aside and sitting here typing this now I can honestly say I don't even remember what they were .. That makes me feel a little sad because I need to know what those plans were .. I need to move forward and be the woman that I was working on being before this happened ..  I feel a little sad today because my son wants to go to school tomorrow morning and he can't .. He can't because he has a broken leg that has left him disabled for at least another 8 weeks .. My son won't be able to show his stuff on the Ramsey football field tomorrow night because in a moment of "playing around" he was run over by a damn 4 wheeler .. In a split second everything changed .. I want to be grateful and on most days I am .. but when I'm tired and the day has been long .. When I'm alone with myself to think .. I'm pissed .. I'm pissed because somewhere .. someone .. thinks it's okay to "gossip" about at 12 year old getting run over .. I am furious because the little boy that ran over him gets to get up tomorrow and go to school .. he will come home and get to play outside with his friends .. and my son will spend another day at the house .. mad and frustrated because bones don't heal overnight .. being mad will not make anything better in fact it will  most likely make us both feel worse but today .. I am pissed!! Ugh .. What a miserable way to feel .. I hope everyday will be better than the last and usually it is .. My son is so healthy and doing so well .. He is a little walking miracle .. I am never going to be the mom I was before his accident because I am working every single day to be a better mom .. I guess I should apologize to anyone who has noticed that I'm not the same .. I'm more quiet .. reserved .. forgetful and clumsy .. I am never really focused on what I am doing or saying because in the back of my mind I am worrying and thinking about my baby boy .. I am sorry to my husband .. my mother .. my bosses and co-workers .. my awesome friends and family and even my lil angels Zach and Josh .. I am distracted .. I am trying in my own way to sort things out and get back on track .. I am working on myself everyday .. silently working on myself everyday .. Please forgive me for being so selfish right now .. I am sorry for not being the person I promised you that I would be .. I am ready for "normal" .. And I know everyone else is too ..

Award :)

And the award goes to...

 Thank you to Kerri at Confessions of a Shoeaholic for giving me this award! 

You are supposed to give 7 random things about yourself & then hand them off.

1. I am totally and completely grossed out by the sound of people chewing!! I absolutely cannot stand it and get really grossed out .. Usually to the point where I have to move away from people when I am eating.

2. I suffer from severe Road Rage !!! Any swear words that my kids know they have probably learned from the passenger seat of my car .. Oops !!


3. I have to shave my legs every single day .. If I skip a day it drives me crazy until I can get them shaved .. I don't understand how girls can go for days .. even weeks without shaving ?!!?


4. I keep a water bowl for my dogs on my night stand so that if they get thirsty in the night they can get a drink .. Is that weird ??


5. I do not allow my husband to control more than one technology at a time in our house .. Like for instance .. He cannot be on the ESPN website on the Mac and be watching ESPN on the television at the same time .. That's not fair and I make him choose one or the other .. I don't think that's unfair .. I mean really how much ESPN can one person consume in one day ??

6. I often daydream about how I will spend my lottery winnings .. but I never buy lottery tickets :) 

7. This is not random but seems appropriate in regards to the latest happenings with my son .. I absolutely .. beyond a shadow of a doubt .. cherish and adore my family !! I thank God (a little more now) every single day for letting me be a part of this amazing little group of people :)

So....now to hand off:  Eeekkk :(  I don't have anyone to hand this award off to but I hope you all enjoyed a peek into my crazy world !!

From Home :)

I am home :) My little guy is just next door in his room watching a movie with his Nanny .. I am not sure that I can put into words the way I am feeling .. But for the sake my blog I will try .. Let me start by saying how thankful I am that my little boy is alive .. How blessed are we as a family that Our God was watching over Zach a week ago today and gave him the gift of breath for another day .. He could have taken him .. In a heartbeat my son could have been dead but My God has a plan for my and mine and that plan includes Zach ... Praise God .. We arrived at our house around 6:30pm on Friday .. A porch full of Zach's buddies were waiting for us .. Anxiously waiting to see their friend that just a few days earlier that had seen carried away on a stretcher by an ambulance .. What the poor little guys must have stuck in their minds still haunts me .. They were there .. They saw their friend get hit so hard that it knocked him out of shoes and then get run over by an ATV going approximately 30-40 miles an hour .. Can you imagine seeing that ?? and the fear those boys must have experienced that day ?? I owe my little man's life to the kid who knew to call 911 .. to the kid who stayed by his side until the ambulance arrived .. who called my husband to say "Come Quick" .. What brave and awesome little boys my son has as friends .. These boys come and sit in his room with him to visit and keep him company .. They are not out riding bikes or playing with other friends .. They are sitting by the side of their buddy that can't go outside right now .. Zach is in good spirits .. He gets frustrated but he keeps a smile on his face and his awesome personality has really shined through this week ..I am not sure what I feel .. I am numb .. Sad and Mad .. Two feelings that will not make anything better but that I cannot shake .. along with exhausted .. I have to bathe my son .. I have to help him to the bathroom .. No 12 yr old boy wants his mom in the bathroom with him but we are forced to make the best out of this situation and push forward .. I am happy to be home from the hospital but terrified .. I am terrified that he will need something that I cannot provide .. That he will require care that I am not qualified to give .. I am a mom .. Not a nurse or a doctor .. I love this kid more than any nurse or doctor ever could but that does not qualify me to  be a health care professional .. Sam and I do the best we can to keep him happy and comfortable .. There have been so many amazing people praying for us and offering help .. I don't think that I will ever ever ever be able to Thank so many people properly .. I have never sent out a Thank You card in my life but I think now would be the perfect time to start .. My family and friends have been such a blessing .. I know and understand that God has a plan for us all .. and that from every trial comes a lesson of some kind .. I also know that nothing ever happens by our clock or calendar but by His .. I expect to understand later why this happened to my son .. I pray for peace and understanding so that I will do not let anger and confusion run my life .. My son is alive and I have to focus on that one positive point every minute of the day .. I have to remember that nothing is in my control .. I pray that these little boys have learned a lesson about being a little more careful .. I hope that my friends hug their babies a little tighter next time the are going to be away from them .. In a matter of moments all that we know and have can change .. Today I am thankful for Zach's laugh .. for his positive attitude even starting down a long hard road .. I am thankful for the best husband .. mom and friends that a girl could ever need .. The next few weeks will be rough .. I may want to cuss .. cry or scream .. I will get frustrated and tired ... I may feel like this mess will never be over .. but .. This too shall pass and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that My God will never place a burden on my shoulders that I cannot bear .. I know this .. I have faith in this and I rest in the peace that only my God can provide for me .. I am going to load up my boy's walker and take him to the school tomorrow to see about getting him back on track .. I don't know when he return to school full time or when he will be capable of doing things for himself again but I do know that he has an amazing spirit that will not keep him down for long ..

From ACH

What a crazy ride the last 5 days have been .. I saw my son laying on the ground having been run over by an ATV .. I have been in the St Eds emergency room .. the St Eds pediatric floor .. the St Eds ICU .. the back of an ambulance for a 2.5 hour drive to Arkansas Children's Hospital .. the ACH Intermediate floor and now we are finally settled into Room 3E12 .. a normal patient room in an Unbelievably Amazing Hospital .. Its been a rough week .. I think that may be putting it mildly but take it from me I've learned a few things about myself .. I've learned how long I can go without sleep and food before I start to break down .. I've learned that as much as I loved my husband before I never knew until now what an amazing dad he is to my boys .. I've seen the overflow of family and friends offering anything that they had to offer and realizing how blessed I am to have such amazing people in my life .. We had a scare Monday night .. Zach started complaining of abdominal pain and we found out that there was no scan of his belly done in the ER the night he was admitted .. When we insisted on a scan we found out that he had a bruised kidney and a lacerated spleen .. These organs, I've learned, can heal themselves but if something goes wrong they must come out .. It would be an emergency situation and after the ER "mishap" Sam and I decided that the hospital that we were in was not prepared well enough for an emergency concerning our boy .. After a long night in ICU we made the decision to have Zach transferred to Arkansas Children's Hospital .. He was transported by ambulance with me by his side .. Within 30 minutes of being here I knew that I had made the right decision .. We immediately saw a doctor .. Several of them actually .. We were inundated with nurses .. doctors and people who wanted to check this kid out .. It was a breath of fresh air into an overwhelming sad ordeal .. I rested .. For the first time since the accident .. I could rest .. I knew that my boy was in the best hands in the state and that I could finally rest .. I ate .. an entire meal .. by myself in the cafeteria .. but it was nice to feel a little normal again .. Only a mom who has sat by a hospital bed understands .. but any mom can relate .. This guy that everyone has poked and prodded for 5 days now .. is my baby boy .. he is my shining star .. he is the love of my life .. Finally .. after arriving at ACH I felt that someone else understood that and wanted nothing but to see my baby well again .. just as I did .. I will never ever be able to put into words all of my thoughts and feelings about what happened and what we have been through but I can honestly say that ACH is an answered prayer .. God knows that us moms need somewhere to rest and eat when our babies are sick .. so he gave us ACH .. Thank you Lord for this Blessing .. I logged out of here before I posted it because I thought I might have something else to say later .. I do :)  I heard my little guy laugh today .. It's been a a few days since I heard that .. I have felt a small lump in my throat all day long .. I am rested and fed and thinking .. Not sure if that's a good thing or not .. I can appreciate that laugh a little better today  .. With a clear mind I know that I almost lost that little laugh .. And with a clear mind I know that if I feel like crying that it is out relief and not fear .. I am ready to take my guys home and get back to our normal life .. I am ready to spend the rest of my days laughing with my kids .. My safe and healthy kids :)

From the Hospital

I am certain all that read this already know what happened to my son Zachary yesterday and for those that don't .. Well .. He was ran over by a 4wheeler .. I am not even sure if there is a different way to say it that makes it sound less horrible .. I am sitting next to my baby boy's hospital bed listening to the sound of his morphine induced snoring .. It's a wonderful sound for a mother who only 12 hours ago received a call from a sobbing little boy who could only tell us to come quick that Zach was hurt real bad .. For every parent who has made that drive you know that fear .. That fear of the unknown .. That feeling in your stomach .. That feeling like time is crawling and you cannot get there fast enough .. And to arrive on the scene of an ambulance .. Praying that the little boy on the ground is not yours .. And the horrifying realization that it is .. in fact .. your baby laying there .. covered in blood and crying out for you .. In that moment .. The most raw and tender parts of your heart break .. As I stood helpless over my little boy .. Only God knows what a mother needs in those moments .. Only my God was in control .. Don't get me wrong .. I sobbed .. and sobbed .. I arrived at the hospital in the passenger seat of the ambulance .. A broken women and in shock .. The phone calls and text messages started to go out and the family started to pile in .. At one point tonight my son had 4 grandmothers here .. That's a lot of promises of ice cream when he gets better .. My mother in law immediately went to his side to lay hands on him and pray .. I sat in the corner and wept .. The prayers started to go up .. The scans and x rays brought reports of more good than bad news .. God was listening to all of us last night .. They took Zachary to surgery to repair a broken femur bone at 10:00pm last night .. My son was run over by a 4wheeler and only has a broken leg .. I say only because I know that his injuries could be so much worse .. He could be dead .. God was listening to all of us last night .. He wakes up and asks for a drink and get more pain medicine .. He tells the nurses thank you and that he is sorry for being bossy .. My awesome kid is laying in a hospital bed apologizing .. Thank you friends for praying for my baby .. Thank you God for answering our prayers last night .. Thank you Zach for being such an awesome kid .. Thank you Sam for sleeping on a hospital cot and loving this little boy as much as I do .. Thank you Mom .. Kim .. Grandma Judy .. Mary .. Bob .. Debbie .. Mamaw .. Bobbie .. Barbara for being here and sitting and waiting with us .. Thank you Barbie for being Awesome .. Thank you to every single awesome friend that text .. facebooked .. tweeted .. praying and asking for prayers for my little man .. Thank you Jill for praying with me ... Thank you Stacy for being at work and taking care of things for me .. Thank you God for listening and answering our prayers last night .. Zach is going to be okay .. He will start with a little physical therapy in the morning and go from there .. I plan to keep all updated via blog, facebook and text message .. It's now 6:05am and I have yet to close my eyes .. Last time Zach woke up he thanked Sam and I for staying with him at the hospital and told me to lay down and get some rest .. This child is truly an angel with a heart of gold .. In all of his pain and weakness he is worried about us .. Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to be the mother of one of the most amazing kids I have ever met .. I think I will try to close my eyes for a minute before he wakes up again .. Blessings .. Kristal